Sunday, October 31, 2004

1060West Halloween Special


SCENE 1: Halloween Morning at Andy MacFAIL's Estate in a Northern Suburb of Chicago.

MRS. MAC FAIL: Andy dear, did you buy the candy for the children?
ANDY MAC FAIL: Of course not dear, you know what Little Andy gets like when he has had too much candy.
MRS. MAC: No, not for our kids. For the trick or treaters.
ANDY: Ohhh no, Lovie. You know my feelings on this wretched holiday.
MRS. MAC: Oh Andy, just because we had that egging incident a couple of years back.
ANDY: A couple of years back. Try every Halloween since we've been in Chicago, except '98 and '03. The only way we don't egged is if the Cubs win make the playoffs.
MRS. MAC: Now Dear, you know there was no proof that any of the neighborhood kids were involved. What did the police tell you.
ANDY: They guessed it was an outside job. I can't help but think it was these neighborhood kids.
MRS. MAC: Andy, put that out of your mind and go get the candy.
ANDY: Alright, I'm sure it won't happen again.

SCENE 2: About 7:00 pm at MacFail's house.

DOORBELL RINGS, door opens
KIDS: Trick 'er Treat
ANDY: Hi Kids! Here's some sugar free Wrigley's gum. Hope you have a great night.
KID DRESSED AS SPIDERMAN: (To a kid in Dracula costume) Sugar Free Gum again. I thought you said this guy was loaded.
ANDY: Take Care kids! (shuts door)
MRS. MAC FAIL: You sure changed your attitude. What happened?
ANDY: Well, I just decided that I should enjoy this holiday. It looks like we're out of candy I'm gonna turn the lights out.

SCENE 3: 10:00 pm. MacFAIL has fallen asleep on his couch watching a DVD on the America's Cup Race. Suddenly there's a bunch of taps on the windows toward the front of MacFail's house. Then the alarm starts going off.
ANDY: What's that? (He wakes up and runs to the door. Opens the door.) (YELLING) Alright who are you? (The house is covered in eggs) You kids better watch out I'm calling the cops. (Suddenly, Mac FAIL is hit smack dab in the face with an egg). That's it. I'm gonna get you. (MacFAIL starts running across his lawn. He slips on some wet leaves and falls down.) DAMMIT! I'll get you someday.

SCENE 4: A bar, with thick cigarette smoke. Clock says 1:20 AM. The camera pans down to the bar that has several empty shot glasses and a pint glass half full of beer. A hand picks up the glass.
Hey, Gracie what brings you to town? You interviewing for Stoney's job.
MARK GRACE: No way Joe. You know I always come to town for Halloween.
BARTENDER: Why Gracie, you've got a wife and kids.
GRACE: Let's just call it tradition Joe.
BARTENDER: Hey Gracie, what the hell is that dried crap on your hand?

(NOTE: This is a Dramatization, not to be taken seriously)

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