Friday, October 15, 2004

1060West ARCHIVES: 2 Types of Cub Fans

I was clearing out some old e-mails today and I stumbled upon this, Written by my old friend the Kidder. This was written long before the days of Bartmann and the tragedy that was the 2003 & 2004 Chicago Cubs.

This was written on February 15, 2001, as we looked forward to Don Baylor's second season in the Cubs dugout. Sammy was in the midst of his 60 HR seasons -- and still a hot button issue! All that being said, not much has really changed around the Cubs -- especially the fans. I find that what the Kidder wrote is just as true (if not truer) today as it was almost 4 years back...


Subject: two types of cub fans
Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 11:58:59 -0600

So many differences. Only two types:

Type L likes to go to the ballpark for a sociable beer and to "hook up". He/she knows who Sammy Sosa is, but isn't sure who that new centerfielder is. Knows Kerry Wood pitches for the Cubs and got hurt, but isn't really sure who's pitching today. Type L goes to the ballpark on sunny days primarily, usually weekends between June and August, or whenever he/she can cut out of work. (Unless one of his/her friends is having their bachelor/bachelorette party at the ballpark on a weird day, of course.) Type L doesn't watch the game much; usually one of Type L's friends is an ex-jock who tells him/her when the game is getting close in the late innings. Type L is easily distinguished by the very fashionable sunglasses he/she wears, and also by his/her floppy hat/bikini top. Khaki shorts are a must for Type L. Type L's Jetta is parked over at Waveland and Racine. Type L is meeting his/her friends over at Murphy's after the game. Type L only really cheers loud when Sammy hits de home run.

Nothing is more sacred to Type L than the sacred shrine of Wrigley Field. It's a cathedral, you know.

Type W drinks too much or not at all. He/she has been following Corey Patterson since his high school days in Kennesaw, GA, when it became apparent that the Cubs would have a high draft pick prior after the 1997 season. On Opening Day, Type W has the rotation mapped out through July and has purchased tickets accordingly. Type W has a pair of snowpants in the closet that he/she bought specifically with April games in mind. Type W missed his/her former best friend's wedding because it happened to be in September of 1984, when Type W was too drunk and blissful to leave the city. Type W has a stack of completed scorecards at home dating back to 1995 -- and would have more if his/her significant other hadn't thrown the older ones away during a fight. Type W has a couple different clothing items that are lucky, and wears only those clothes -- dirty or not -- to the ballpark. One of those items is usually a ballcap. Type W either lives in the neighborhood or took the L to the ballpark. Type W is well known at Bernie's and secretly misses the old Wrigleyville Tap -- and hates the sellouts at Murphy's. Type W had to be revived after Grace caught that soft liner to end the one-game playoff against the Giants in 1998. Type W gets in a lot of arguments with strangers over whether or not the Cubs should've traded Sammy.

Type W would sell Wrigley Field packed full of sweet little old grandmothers to the glue factory to see the Cubs win the World Series just once. To Type W, baseball is economics -- and if the park has to go in order to win, the park goes.

Type L isn't really aware of the existence of Type W, except for the times when he/she has to sit next to that baseball geek with the clipboard charting pitches. Gawd, what a geek!

Type W hates Type L with a hatred usually reserved for Nazis and IRS auditors. God, please strike this ignorant yuppie next to me dead....


Would the Type L fan insist on Old Style in the wax cup?

1 comment:

Vehere said...

Not to mention that type W would kill type L if given the chance.