Sunday, October 31, 2004

1060West Halloween Special


SCENE 1: Halloween Morning at Andy MacFAIL's Estate in a Northern Suburb of Chicago.

MRS. MAC FAIL: Andy dear, did you buy the candy for the children?
ANDY MAC FAIL: Of course not dear, you know what Little Andy gets like when he has had too much candy.
MRS. MAC: No, not for our kids. For the trick or treaters.
ANDY: Ohhh no, Lovie. You know my feelings on this wretched holiday.
MRS. MAC: Oh Andy, just because we had that egging incident a couple of years back.
ANDY: A couple of years back. Try every Halloween since we've been in Chicago, except '98 and '03. The only way we don't egged is if the Cubs win make the playoffs.
MRS. MAC: Now Dear, you know there was no proof that any of the neighborhood kids were involved. What did the police tell you.
ANDY: They guessed it was an outside job. I can't help but think it was these neighborhood kids.
MRS. MAC: Andy, put that out of your mind and go get the candy.
ANDY: Alright, I'm sure it won't happen again.

SCENE 2: About 7:00 pm at MacFail's house.

DOORBELL RINGS, door opens
KIDS: Trick 'er Treat
ANDY: Hi Kids! Here's some sugar free Wrigley's gum. Hope you have a great night.
KID DRESSED AS SPIDERMAN: (To a kid in Dracula costume) Sugar Free Gum again. I thought you said this guy was loaded.
ANDY: Take Care kids! (shuts door)
MRS. MAC FAIL: You sure changed your attitude. What happened?
ANDY: Well, I just decided that I should enjoy this holiday. It looks like we're out of candy I'm gonna turn the lights out.

SCENE 3: 10:00 pm. MacFAIL has fallen asleep on his couch watching a DVD on the America's Cup Race. Suddenly there's a bunch of taps on the windows toward the front of MacFail's house. Then the alarm starts going off.
ANDY: What's that? (He wakes up and runs to the door. Opens the door.) (YELLING) Alright who are you? (The house is covered in eggs) You kids better watch out I'm calling the cops. (Suddenly, Mac FAIL is hit smack dab in the face with an egg). That's it. I'm gonna get you. (MacFAIL starts running across his lawn. He slips on some wet leaves and falls down.) DAMMIT! I'll get you someday.

SCENE 4: A bar, with thick cigarette smoke. Clock says 1:20 AM. The camera pans down to the bar that has several empty shot glasses and a pint glass half full of beer. A hand picks up the glass.
Hey, Gracie what brings you to town? You interviewing for Stoney's job.
MARK GRACE: No way Joe. You know I always come to town for Halloween.
BARTENDER: Why Gracie, you've got a wife and kids.
GRACE: Let's just call it tradition Joe.
BARTENDER: Hey Gracie, what the hell is that dried crap on your hand?

(NOTE: This is a Dramatization, not to be taken seriously)

Friday, October 29, 2004

We're going to miss you Stony.

(A Dramatization, not to be taken seriously)

Late at night in the Arizona desert a phone rings…

A Just Woken Up Voice: Hello?!?

Voice on the Other End of the Phone: Ron, its Pat.

Ronny: Patrick, why are you calling so late? We just got the grandson to sleep. Are you calling to get more copies of “This Old Cub”?

Pat: No Ronny, I called with news. Big news.

Ronny: Oh Patrick, it can’t be the veteran’s committee, is it? I mean that would be unprecedented for me to get in especially since…

Pat (interrupting): No Ronny, you know those guys hate you. It’s bigger than that, Stony resigned.

Ronny (laughing): Patrick, you always know how to make me laugh. He’s one of the best color guys in the biz. If that were true then…

Pat: Yes, Ron. Everyone will turn off the volume on their televisions and be listening to us.

Ronny (screaming): That’s great news Patrick! Great news! Can we bring back the bit about peeling an orange and keeping the peel whole?

Pat: Of course Ron, every Cub fan in the WGN listening area will be to us, not the bozos on the t.v.

Ronny: Patrick, I have to go. The grandson just woke up. (giggling) Oh, I can’t wait for Spring training.
Pat: Me neither Ronny. Good night.


The Two Finalists were our top two Suspects

Who Broke Sammy's Boom box?

Kid K
ESPN 1000 is reporting that Kerry Wood took the baseball bat to the boombox...apparently the Bears News isn't getting any ratings this October.


1060west's Vehere is reporting that Mark Prior did the damage.


Change of Heart?

What's up with Curt Schilling?

First he neglects his doctors by thanking God for giving him the ability to pitch in the World Series.


Next, he and his pals plan a trip to Disney World.

Then, he accepts an invitation to stump with W on the campaign trail. I guess there aren't any rock stars out there to support the GOP.

And now this.

So, you're telling me that the doctor OK'd his visit to Disney, but yet said he's not healthy enough to stump for George?!?!?! Hmmm.

your 2005 chicago cubs announcing team

a sunny summer saturday at the old ballyard...

GIBBY: 'prior walks rolen, and here's the cardinal slugger edmonds. the pitch... low, ball one.'

KRIER: 'he's quite a hitter, but i saw him at hitops late last evening. let's see if it affects him.'

GIBBY: 'wow, kidder, i barely remember that!... ball two outside...'

KRIER: 'yeah, it was after those jager bombs. HEY OLD STYLE!! THREE HERE!'

JOHNNY: 'he tried to pick a fight with me at about 1:30. i told him to f*&% off.'

GIBBY: 'attaboy, johnny. want some peanuts, kidder?'

KRIER: 'sure gib -- thanks...'

(a thunderous *CRACK*)



JOHNNY: '... ... uh, krier, i don't think you can say that on the radio...'

GIBBY: 'that's one's out on sheffield -- and its 7-0 redbirds in the 4th... jay macias didn't even move when that one was hit.'

JOHNNY: 'phone's ringing -- i think its john mcdonough.'

GIBBY: 'the FCC will get us for that one for sure!'

KRIER: 'oops -- sorry -- medium, why didn't you hit the kill switch?'

JOHNNY: 'well i *would* have if i hadn't had my hands full with this damn kosher dog.'

GIBBY: 'fellas, that's going to be a damn expensive hot dog..."

Thursday, October 28, 2004

Stone Pony

"So long, pal" (imagine Jack Brickhouse) is usually reserved for those who have passed on. However, in this case it is appropriate. This man

is no longer the color commentator for the beloved. He was driven away by integrity-challenged nincompoops in both the front office and the manager's chair. Such a shame that in this day and age, political correctness wins out over good, honest, TRUTH.

Moises will piss on his hands in another city, Kent Mercker will play on in relative obscurity and Dusty Baker will continue to mismanage his pitching staff while apologizing for the entire team. Stone Pony's excellent on-the-money pearls of wisdom will be truly missed by Cubs fans across the USA.

So long, Pal.

Read Steve Stone's open letter to Cubs fans.

Cubs Replacement for Chip & Sammy's Boombox

Ed Sherman's piece in the Trib today is very interesting. Looks like Len Kasper, formerly with WTMJ, will be the next voice of the Cubs. If I remember him from his 'TMJ days he's just a "Dave Kaplan-clone". Anyways, who cares who broadcasts the Cubs? All you have to do is turn down the sound and listen to Pat and Ron.

Following Sammy's early departure from the Cub Clubhouse during the final game of the season, two Cub players took a baseball bat and destroyed Sahm's boom box. Who could it have been???

Who Broke Sammy's Boom box?


Kid K






The Louisiana Lumberjack


Dusty Dude

Wednesday, October 27, 2004


The Curse is DEAD!

2005 World Series Champions


Sorry, rednecks.. BoSox are World Champs!!

I don't recall a more lackluster World Series. After Game 1, it was a snoozefest. But I guess there was enough drama with the Sox having to overcome that dreaded curse. Thanks be to God, that we no longer have to hear about 1918!

Something strange happened to me tonight. About the 7th inning, I actually started feeling sorry for the Cardinals! What the hell is wrong with me??!!?? But then I snapped out of it. I remembered reading this article. Boo-Hoo Cardinals. Good Riddance!

Be happy Cubs Fans, we've now got the entire country's sympathy. You thought there were amateurs spreading Cubness across the USA before? Just wait!

Question: Can the Cubs handle the pressure?

Cubs stuff in the midst of the Series

The Red Sox are now 27 outs from their first World Series crown in generations. I was wrong in the ALCS (when Boston was down 3-0), but I'll predict the Redbirds are done. The Cardinals have played so well this year. It really is surprising to see how they have fallen apart in these games.

Any way here's some Cub News in Late October:
The Suntimes tells the rooftop owners that they will lose their view if the Cubs add bleacher seats. Will this story ever end? How many years has this bleacher expansion/rooftop owners/city of chicago story gone on? ENOUGH ALREADY!

Nomar's not as bad a guy as Theo Epstein wants you to believe. The Red Sox players have voted that the Cubs shorttime shortstop get a full share of the World Series winnings.

Finally as reported on 1060west FIRST. The Cubs will make trips to RFK Stadium & Yankee Stadium in 2005. The soon to be crowned World Champion Red Sox will visit Wrigley Field June 10-12. The Cubs will be in the Bronx the following weekend June 17-19.

Old Hickory is held up in Boston. He plans on being out and about in the streets when the Red Sox put the Cardinals and their fans out of their misery.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

Some Entertainment from the Land of the White Belts and Shoes

The rule is you are not supposed to give yourself a nickname. That never stopped our birdie friends to the south. The self-proclaimed Baseball's Best Fans are back at it. Take a look at this site. Pay particular attention to their World Series Preview.

EXcub factors in the World Series: The Managers

It is hard to believe, but both World Series Managers once wore the blue pinstripes. Here's a look at what they did while wearing Cubbie Blue:


Before LaRussa became too cool for the room he was a very below average reserve infielder. Now "The Genius" tell's us all to have our dogs and cats spayed and neutered as he talks over the local St. Louis Morning Zoo Jock who is interviewing him. (Can there be two more extremes than the Boston media and the St. Louis media? The Boston media will follow players to strip joints, ask Mo Vaughn, than write an article about it. Meanwhile the St. Louis meda will buy the ballplayers drinks at the strip joint, ask...)

While The Genius was on the Northside he played in 1 Game. He had no AB's but he did score a run. (He was nearly a Moonlight Graham in the Cubs record books!). LaRussa's lifetime player stats are pretty miserable:

In 6 seasons he played in a total of 132 games. He hit .199 in 176 AB's. Scored 15 Runs, had 5 doubles and 2 triples.

During the winter, hopefully the Kidder and I can come up with a list of some of our favorite Genius managing moves. Including, but not limited too: leading off McGwire or hitting his pitcher 8th. I am still waiting for him to pull one of his patented "Genius moves" in this series.


Terry Francona was actually the Montreal Expos first round pick in the 1980 June Amateur Draft. In 1986 Tito was released by the Expos and signed by the Cubs. As a reserve OF and 1B, Francona played in 86 games for the Cubs. The rest of his stats read like this:
124 AB, 13 R, 31 H, 3 2b, 2 HR, 8 RBi, 1 CS (who the hell sent him?), 6 BB, 8 SO (Like the SO to walk ratio Theo Epstein?), .609 OPS


GAME 3 Tonight in St. Louis. I have not heard from Andrew Jackson. I'd guess it takes a long time to get from Boston to St. Louis on a horse. Hopefully Old Hickory will report in!

Monday, October 25, 2004

2005 Cubs Schedule.

We'd all like to forget the 2004 Cub season ASAP. Hopefully the schedule below will help you look ahead to some possible summer travel plans:

4-5-6 at Arizona
8-9-10 Milwaukee
11(1:20)-12(1:20)-13(1:20) San Diego
15-16-17 at Pittsburgh
18-19 at Cincinnati
20-21 at St. Louis
22-23-24 Pittsburgh
25-26-27 Cincinnati

29-30 at Houston

1 at Houston
3-4-5 at Milwaukee
6-7-8 Philadelphia
9-10-11 New York Mets

13-14-15 at Washington
17-18 at Pittsburgh
20-21-22 Chicago White Sox
23-24-25 Houston
26-27-28-29 Colorado

30-31 at Los Angeles

1 - at Los Angeles
2(N)-3(N)-4(N)-5 at San Diego
6(7:05)-7(7:05)-8(1:20) Toronto
10-11-12 Boston
13-14-15 Florida

17-18-19 at New York Yankees
20-21-22-23 at Milwaukee Brewers
24-25-26 at Chicago White Sox
28-29-30 Milwaukee

1-2-3 Washington
4-5-6-7 at Atlanta
8-9-10 at Florida
ALL STAR BREAK 11th-14th
15-16-17 Pittsburgh
18-19-20-21 at Cincinnati
22-23-24 at St. Louis
25-26-27 San Francisco
28-29-30-31 Arizona

2(N)-3(N)-4 at Philadelphia
5-6-7 at New York Mets
8-9-10 Cincinnati
11-12-13-14 St. Louis
15-16-17 at Houston
19-20-21 at Colorado
22-23-24 Atlanta
26-27-28 Florida
29-30-31 Los Angeles

2-3-4 at Pittsburgh
5-6-7 at St. Louis
8-9-10-11 at San Francisco
12-13-14 Cincinnati
15-16-17-18 St. Louis

20-21-22 at Milwaukee
23-24-25 Houston
27-28 Pittsburgh

29-30 at Houston

1-2 at Houston

Sunday, October 24, 2004

Andrew Jackson's Blogcast: Game 2 of the World Series

Andrew Jackson reports from Friendly Fenway that it's pretty cold this evening. Quick recap of last night. THE HORN, yes that Horn, was the big hero with a homer off of Pesky's Pole in the 8th to win it. The Pitcher Ken Williams dealt for Billy Koch (Keith Foulke) was great again!

Okay here are the lineups:

For the St. Louis White Shoes and White Belts
E. Renteria ss
L. Walker rf
A. Pujols 1b
S. Rolen 3b
J. Edmonds cf
R. Sanders lf
T. Womack 2b
M. Matheny c
M. Anderson dh

The Pitcher is Matt Morris

For the Boston Red Sox
J. Damon cf
O. Cabrera ss
M. Ramirez lf
D. Ortiz dh
J. Varitek c
K. Millar 1b
T. Nixon rf
B. Mueller 3b
The Horn 2b

Pitching for the BoSox Curt Schilling
Andrew Jacson did some Investigative Reporting following Game 7 of the NLCS. He found out why the Red Sox won the ALCS.

NOMAR wishes the Red Sox well!

Top of the 1st
Renteria groundout 6-3
Larry Walker flies to rf
The "wink, wink" 24 year old Albie Pujols lines a double to the gap in left center
Rolen hits a "rocket shot" at Billy Mueller.
Bottom of 1st
Johnny Damon grounds out to Rolen
Cabrera grounds to Renteria
Manny walks
here comes ORTIZ, he walks, Manny to 2B
Millar walks
(The Genius' pal Dave Duncan heads to the mound for a visit with Morris)
Nixon grounds out 5-3
END OF 1st BoSox-2 Cards-0

Top of the 2nd
Edmonds pops a foul between Mueller and Varitek who collide and the ball drops E-5
Edmonds grounds to Millar
Sanders walks
Womack hits a "duck-snort" to right center, Sanders to 2B.
Matheny lines to Mueller it's an unassisted twin killing
Bottom of 2nd
"How many times does the player who makes a great defensive play leadoff the next inning?" Answer 1 out of 9 times!
Billy Mueller singles
THE HORN works the count to 3-2 and grounds into a 4-6-3 doubleplay.
Damon k's
END OF 2nd BoSox-2 Cards-0

Top of 3rd
Anderson pops to Millar
Renteria grounds to Cabrera
Larry Walker strikesout swinging
Bottom of 3rd
Cabrera grounds 5-3
Manny whiffs
Ortiz grounds to Pujols
END OF 3rd BoSox-2 Cards-0
(On Monday Andrew Jackson will have a sit down conversation with Tim McCarver)

TOP OF 4th
"the 15 year old" Pujols hits another double
Rolen flies to Trot Nixon who makes a great catch. Al tags and heads to 3B.
Jimmy Edmonds K's (somewhere Ken Griffey is laughing!)
Sanders hits a smash to Mueller he can't get it. Albie scores. Sanders is at first on an error on Billy Mueller. That's his second of the night and the Red Sox 6th error of the series.
Womack grounds to Cabrera.
Varitek grounds to Womack
Millar's HBP
Nixon K's
Mueller doubles into the corner, Millar to third
Look who's the World Series Hero so far:

Damon grounds to 2B
END OF 4 Sox-4 Redbirds-1

Look at the crap FOX is promoting with the World Series.


Ex-Brewer Mike Matheny singles
Anderson K's
Renteria hits into a twin killing

Cabrera walks
Manny flies to Walker
EDITORIAL--Why the hell is Tom Hanks sitting in the Monster seats? I hate these Hollywood types who take seats away from real fans at Big Games. Can Jim Belushi get into anymore Chicago events for FREE claiming to represent Chicago?

Ortiz hits one a long way that clearly was FOUL. He flies to RF.
Varitek is HBP
Millar K's
END OF 5th BoSox-4 RiverRats-1

TOP OF 6th
Walker whiffs
Pujols is finally out
Rolen reaches on another Error by Bill Mueller-that's his THIRD tying a WS Record, I'm not sure what's going on with Mueller.
Jimmy grounds to THE HORN who boots it. The RED SOX 4th Error. The tying run is at the plate
Reggie Sanders hits a shot at Mueller who grabs it and staggers to the bag.

The Ex-Cubs keep trying to screw this up for the Sox, but Schilling pitches right through it.
Trot Nixon singles to cf
Muellerflies deep to Walker
The New RED SOX HERO THE HORN pops to Renteria.
Damon singles, sending Nixon to 2B
Manny pops up to Edmonds who plays it into a single, Cabrera to 3B
END OF 6th THE HORN& the BoSox-6
Albert and the Junkyard Gang-1

TOP OF 7th
Womack K's
Matheny strikesout
Taguchi, pinch hits for Anderson, strikesout lookin'
Donna Summer sings God Bless America

Varitek hits a ball to Edmonds who makes a Willie Mays catch
Millar walks, Doug M. runs for Millar
Nixon flies to CF
EDITORIAL: Joe Buck is now talking about how confident the Cards will be when the series moves back to Busch. This game is starting to sound more and more like Joe calling a Cardinals game with Al Hrabosky in Mid-May.
Mueller walks.
NOOOOOOOOO, Francona pinch hits for THE HORN with Pokey Reese. Reese pops out to Pujols.
END OF 7th RED SOX-6 Redbirds-1

TOP OF 8th
Renteria walks
Walker's out 1-3, Renteria to 2B
Pujols singles, Renteria to 3B
Rolen hits and RBi Sac Fly to CF. Renteria scores.
Edmonds whiffs
Damon Groundsout 6-3
Cabrera foulsout to Matheny
Manny groundsout

(Kapler's in LF for Man-Ram)
Sanders K's
Womack flies to Nixon
Matheny grounds to Cabrera

RED SOX WIN! They take a 2-0 World Series Lead.

Cardinals 2-5-0
RED SOX 6-8-4

WP Schilling
LP Morris

This is a great start for the Red Sox! CONGRATS TO RED SOX NATION!

The Red Sox had better be wary. The Cardinals are great in St. Louis and due to bust out and score a bunch of runs. If the Red Sox can just steal one in Missouri they can win it in Game 6 at FENWAY! Go RED SOX!

Friday, October 22, 2004


Andrew Jackson's BLOGCAST
Game 2 of the World Series
Almost Live from Fenway Park

Marquis vs. Schilling
7:10 PM

Some Kind of Rivalry!

I wrote this article watching the Yankees and Boston play on Sunday. Something funny happened that day. The Yankees started playing like the Cubs. I have never seen a team just lose it like the Yanks did. Ohhh wait, last year in the NLCS... anyway that's a whole 'nother story.

As a midwesterner I must admit I do not like all the hype Red Sox/Yanks gets. But I was just as wrapped up in that series as anyone. I'm happy I was wrong on what I said below.


Let's review:

1978 AL East One Game Playoff: New York 5 - Boston 4 (Bucky F%^&*n' Dent).
1999 ALCS: New York over Boston 4 games to 1.
2003 ALCS: New York over Boston 4 games to 3 (Aaron F%^&*n' Boone).
2004 ALCS: New York over Boston 4 games to .

As much as Fox and ESPN want to sell this as "the best rivalry in sports". I don't see it. The Red Sox try, try and try some more. But whenever anything is at stake the Yankees win.

Boston's obsession with the Yankees probably is the best in sports. I have no doubt that 99.9% of Red Sox Nation hates the Yankees. In New York, the Red Sox are just a nuissance. They're just another speed bump on the Yanks way to their birth right: the AL Pennant and eventual World Series Title.

One sided rivalries ain't much fun. Take a look at the Packer/Bear rivalry which has died. This Yankee/Red Sox rivalry can't get any more one-sided. Still, Fox and ESPN have shoved this thing down our throats for years. If the teams played anywhere but the East Coast it would probably be called out by the National Media as the biggest mythical rivalry in sports.

Watching this past series, I am starting to wonder if the BoSox will ever be able to beat the Yanks when it matters. Before this series, like most baseball fans, I thought this would be the year Boston would win. If they can't do it with Schilling, Pedro, Foulke and the best offense on the planet, will they ever?

When the Sox beat the Yanks with something at stake, it'll be a rivalry. Until that day, sorry Red Sox fans your team is just a speed bump.

How stupid can a guy be? That was such a gritty performance by the Red Sox. But something happened in the series. In Extra Innings in Games 4 & 5 the Yankees started playing not to lose. Joe Torre teams never did that! The breaks started going the Red Sox way. The Red Sox played outstanding baseball. The Yankees just didn't have the starting pitchers they have had recently.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Game Blog: GAME 7 Red Sox vs. Yanks

Well, Andrew Jackso...I mean Pete Gammons said this is the biggest Baseball game in history. So 1060west is gonna Game blog it (this is the first time ever so :

Top of 1st
Damon single, steals second.
The Horn K's.
Ramirez singles. Damn(what was Dale Sveum doing?) is thrown out at the plate on a relay throw by Jeter.
Ortiz hits a 2-Run HOMERUN to RF. BOSOX 2-Evil Empire 0
Varitek grounds to Brown unassisted
Bottom of 1st
Jeter flies to Damon
ARod groundsout to Billy Mueller
Sheffield K's looking
END OF 1st 2-0 BoSox

TOP of 2nd
Nixon's out
Millar singles
Billy Mueller Walks
*Brown is looking bar. Torre sends Mel S. to the mound*
Cabrera walks, bases loaded
PITCHING CHANGE Javier Vazquez enters

HOLY CRAP ON A STICK. JOHNNY DAMON HITS A GRAND SLAM!!! GRAND SLAM!!! It's 6-0 BoSox. That will probably be labeled the biggest hit in Red Sox history if this score holds up!!!!
The Horn walks
Ramirez pops out
Ortiz grounds out 1-4-3
Bottom of 2nd
Matsui groundsout 4-3
Williams groundsout 6-3
Posada walks
Lofton swinging bunt and he's out 2-3
END OF 2 BOSOX 6 - Evil Empire 0

Top of 3
Varitek K's
Nixon K's
Walk to Millar
Mueller Popsout
Clark pops out
Cairo is HBP and steals second
Jeter hits an RBI single scoring Cairo.
A-Rod out 1-3, Jeter to second.
Sheffield's out
END OF 3, 6-1 BOSOX (can we start counting outs yet?)

Top of 4
Cabrera Walks
The Horn walks (This is amazing the Yanks look desperate. Vazquez is in trouble)
Manny pops out
Ortiz walks (Torre to the mound, Vazquez is done!)
NEW PITCHER IS: Esteban Loaiza
Varitek reaches on an error on Cairo (who the hell is scoring this game?)
Nixon K's
Millar grounds out to Cairo
Bottom of 4
Matsui grounds out 3-1
Williams flies to ManRam
(They just showed rge Cask on FOX!!!)
Posada grounds to Millar
END OF 4 it's 8-1 BOSOX

Billy Mueller singles.
Cabrera's out.
Damen hits a comebacker to Loaiza. He tries to chase back Mueller and throws it into RF. Mueller to third, Damen to second on a Fielders choice & E-1.
The Horn pops to Jeter
Manny grounds to A-Rod.
Lofton's out 6-3
Clark's out
Miggy Cairo K's. Lowe's pitching well.

Top of 6
Ortiz, Varitek, & Nixon all groundout to the right side of the IF.
LEVITRA Ad on Fox. When did Ditka get fired?
Jeter's gone 4-3
ARod same fate as Jeter
Sheffield fans


Top of 7

Millar fans
Billy Mueller singles
(NOTE: it looks like Pedro's gonna come in and finish this thing)
Cabrera singles to CF
Tonight's hero Johnny Damon grounds into a 1-6-3 Twin killing.
7th inning stretch in the Bronx (Red Sox up by 7, nine outs to go!)
Bottom of 7

The Bronx faithful goes crazy: "Who's your Daddy"
Matsui doubles
Williams drives him in with a double.
Posada grounds out advancing Bernie to third.
Lofton singles home Bernie. Lofton steals second.
Olerud pinch hitting strikes out
Cairo ends the inning flying to Trot Nixon
End of 7 Red Sox 8 Yanks 3

Top of 8
PITCHING CHANGE: Ex Cub Flash Gordon on the hill
Manny's out
Ortiz pop's to Jeter a super catch
Varitek flies to Matsui.
Bottom of 8
Jeter grounds out 5-3.

A-Rod fans. Four outs to go.
Sheffield grounds to Cabrera.

Top of the 9th
Who cares?
Nixon singles
Dougie Baseball singles to LF
Mueller flies to CF, Nixon to third
Cabrera hits a sac fly to CF. Nixon scores it's 10-3
PITCHING CHANGE. Mo Rivera's coming in. Does it really matter Joe?
Johnny Damon grounds out. (3 outs to go)

Bottom of the 9th
Matsui singles
Bernie (is this his last AB as a Yankee?) grounds into a fielders choice Matsui out at 2nd.
Posada pops to Cabrera


Lofton hitting against Mike Timlin
ball high, Williams takes second on catchers indifference
ball outside, 2-0
ball three high, 3-0
ball four Lofton walks

PITCHING CHANGE: Embree replaces Timlin
Sierra pinch hits for Olerud hitting against Al Embree


Why the f&*% is the PA playing Sinatra's New York, New York???





Congrats to the Red Sox and Red Sox Nation from this Cub fan and many more. Finish this thing, Win the series. The Greatest Comeback in Baseball history belongs to the Red Sox. The Yankees choked. What is George gonna do about this?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

tawd watch: prologue

SCENE: an upstairs room in a flophouse in tijuana. a rumpled bed holds two figures covered by a dirty sheet. on the nightstand, a rotary telephone and an empty tequila bottle. a ceiling fan hums as daylight filters through the blinds.

the telephone rings. the figure nearest the phone reaches for the receiver while remaining covered.

WOMAN: hola...?

VOICE: sweetie, put tawd on the phone.

WOMAN: uhh, si... si...

the woman reaches across the bed and hits the other covered figure in the head with the receiver.

TAWD: AH, goddammit... (takes receiver) ... yeh?

VOICE: tawd? jesus, you sound like shit.

TAWD: mmm...

VOICE: listen, tawd, it's paul depodesta.

TAWD: who? listen, mack, i don't want any...

DEPODESTA: tawd, i'm the general manager of the dodgers.


DEPODESTA: the *los angeles* dodgers?

(more silence)

DEPODESTA: the team you play for?

TAWD: oh -- oh yeah, hey, mr. depaulita, how are ya? how'd you find me?

DEPODESTA: one of our mexican league scouts spotted you a few days ago in the drunk tank down at the courthouse.

TAWD: ... ... i was where now?

DEPODESTA: it doesn't matter. hey -- how's your back?

TAWD: well, at the moment, it hurts a bit -- but that's mostly because of rosalita here... (woman giggles) ... yeah, that's right, baby.

DEPODESTA: tawd, shut up. we just traded paul loduca to florida.

TAWD: ... really? (tawd sits up, the phone cord knocking the empty bottle to the floor.)

DEPODESTA: yes, really. we may need you to play again. we worked out a deal for brent mayne, but we already know he isn't going to hit for shit. we just found out he's quit taking steriods. somthing about his health. so we may need you to play next year if we can't find a... well, a good catcher.

TAWD: ... wow. i don't know what to say, mr. deprotesta. i thought...

DEPODESTA: yes, well, tawd, we thought you were a washed-up piece of shit too, after that stint with the cubs. and you probably still are. i still have no idea why my predecessor would have tolerated taking you in trade. it seems ridiculous now... just... baffling, really.

TAWD: yeah, i....

DEPODESTA: shut up, tawd. listen -- i'm sending a car to come dig you out of that cesspool.

TAWD: what?

DEPODESTA: be out front of that dump at 5 o'clock.

TAWD: what time is it now?


TAWD: am or pm?


TAWD: ok, ok -- 5 o'clock. right. (dial tone)

Monday, October 18, 2004

Cubs Motivational Poster Posted by Hello

1060West Classic: Cubs Acquire Ichiro!

Scene 1: Wrigley Field, the Cubs clubhouse following a
June 20, 5-3 win over Oakland. Bruce Levine is interviewing Cubs Closer Latroy Hawkins

BRUCE: Great game out there today Latroy. Can you describe the lift the Ichiro gave the team in his first game, going 3-5?

LATROY: Sheeeet Bruce. Did you see that lil' guy when he got on base. He can motor.

BRUCE: Do you think this is what the team needs to get back into the race.

LATROY: I dunno. Corey just wasn't gettin' it done. We gotta move onto to players that will make us win now.

BRUCE: Are you aware of the fact that there is a million dollar bounty for a naked picture of Ichiro?

LATROY: Say what???
(Kyle Farnsworth and Francis Beltran are now in the picture listening to Levine)

BRUCE: Yeah, a Japanese tabloid has a million dollar offer on a naked picture of Ichiro.

FARNSWORTH: One Million dollars?

BRUCE: Yeah.

LATROY: (to a newspaper photographer) gimme that camera. (he rips it out of his hand)

FARNSWORTH: (to Beltran and Hawkins) Even split of the million?

BELTRAN: (nods)

LATROY: Hell Yeah.

FARNSWORTH: Let's get him.

Will our heroes win the Million Dollars?

Will Ron Santo try to interview Ichiro?

Tune in Tommorrow same Bat time and check local listings for the Bat channel.

EXcub factors in the NLCS: Gary Gaetti

Gary Gaetti was a late season addition to the 1998 Cubs. He helped them win the wildcard. Who will ever forget the Homerun he hit in the one game playoff against the Giants that sent the Cubs into the NLDS?

This year Gaetti joined the Astros as a hitting instructor after Jimy Williams was fired. I don't know how good of a job he has done. But he sure has made Carlos Beltran a great hitter!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

EXcub Factors still in the ALCS: Felix Heredia

Felix Heredia is a great example of why you want your kids to throw left handed. This guy has a career ERA of 4.44. The Cubs had Heredia for 3+ years. 1998-2001. His ERA was 6.17 in 48 games in 2001. At that point the Cubs had seen enough.

The Yankees acquired Heredia last year from the Reds. They made the mistake of being impressed by 12 games of decent relief (1.20 ERA, 15 IP, 5 BB, 4 SO). This year Felix is back to his old self: 47 G, 1-1 W/L, 38.2 IP, 44 H, 28 R, 27 ER, 20 BB, 25 SO, 6.28 ERA)

If Heredia pitches in any critical spot, Joe Torre is crazy!

EXcub factors in the ALCS: Bill Mueller

Bill Mueller was a fan favorite the short two years he wore the Cub pinstripes. Last year he won the AL batting title hitting .326 for the Red Sox. 2003 was Mueller's best season in MLB.

Mueller played with the Northsiders in 2001 and 2002. The most memorable play from Mueller's Cub career was a play in St. Louis in 2001. Mueller was off to a fine start for the Cubs-.batting .317 w/5 HR, 16 RBI and 24 R in 36 G. He collided with the wall at Busch Stadium and shattered his patella. Just another play among many forgettable ones for the Cubs at Busch Stadium over the years. (When do they blow that place up?)

Mueller has been a cobtributor to Red Sox success the past two years. This year he put up these numbers: 110 G, 399 AB, 75 R 113 H, 27 2B, 1 3B, 12 HR, 57 RBi, 51 BB, 56 SO, 2 SB, .365 OBP, .446 SLG, .283 AVG. Mueller is a .292 lifetime hitter with 1049 Hits

Saturday, October 16, 2004

EXcub announcer (that won't shut up) in the NLCS: Thommy Brennaman

It's bad enough that we have to watch the Redbirds, and worse yet the Redbird fans, whoop it up in this years NLCS. Making matters worse are the clowns in the FOX broadcast booth. Lil' Thom (don't forget my H) Brennaman has been on the national scene for too long. The guy never shuts up.

Thommy broadcast the Cubs for six years on WGN Radio and TV from 1990-1995 -- It was 6 years that I'll happily forget. My main recollection of Brennaman announcing the Cubs was he always complained that Greg Maddux would have "one bad inning". Maddux was 15-15 (3.46 ERA) in 1990; in '91 he was 15-11 with a 3.35 ERA; and in 1992 he won his first Cy Young going 20-11 with a 2.18 ERA. He must not have had that many "bad innings". Now Thommy will tell you he discovered Maddux.

Some Cub fans wanted Thommy Boy to come back and replace Chip Caray. Not a chance Cub fans. The guy burned alot of bridges on his way out of Chicago. Enjoy announcing another 100 loss season in AZ next year Thom. I'm turning down the sound on my tv for the rest of the NLCS.

Friday, October 15, 2004

1060West ARCHIVES: 2 Types of Cub Fans

I was clearing out some old e-mails today and I stumbled upon this, Written by my old friend the Kidder. This was written long before the days of Bartmann and the tragedy that was the 2003 & 2004 Chicago Cubs.

This was written on February 15, 2001, as we looked forward to Don Baylor's second season in the Cubs dugout. Sammy was in the midst of his 60 HR seasons -- and still a hot button issue! All that being said, not much has really changed around the Cubs -- especially the fans. I find that what the Kidder wrote is just as true (if not truer) today as it was almost 4 years back...


Subject: two types of cub fans
Date: Thu, 15 Feb 2001 11:58:59 -0600

So many differences. Only two types:

Type L likes to go to the ballpark for a sociable beer and to "hook up". He/she knows who Sammy Sosa is, but isn't sure who that new centerfielder is. Knows Kerry Wood pitches for the Cubs and got hurt, but isn't really sure who's pitching today. Type L goes to the ballpark on sunny days primarily, usually weekends between June and August, or whenever he/she can cut out of work. (Unless one of his/her friends is having their bachelor/bachelorette party at the ballpark on a weird day, of course.) Type L doesn't watch the game much; usually one of Type L's friends is an ex-jock who tells him/her when the game is getting close in the late innings. Type L is easily distinguished by the very fashionable sunglasses he/she wears, and also by his/her floppy hat/bikini top. Khaki shorts are a must for Type L. Type L's Jetta is parked over at Waveland and Racine. Type L is meeting his/her friends over at Murphy's after the game. Type L only really cheers loud when Sammy hits de home run.

Nothing is more sacred to Type L than the sacred shrine of Wrigley Field. It's a cathedral, you know.

Type W drinks too much or not at all. He/she has been following Corey Patterson since his high school days in Kennesaw, GA, when it became apparent that the Cubs would have a high draft pick prior after the 1997 season. On Opening Day, Type W has the rotation mapped out through July and has purchased tickets accordingly. Type W has a pair of snowpants in the closet that he/she bought specifically with April games in mind. Type W missed his/her former best friend's wedding because it happened to be in September of 1984, when Type W was too drunk and blissful to leave the city. Type W has a stack of completed scorecards at home dating back to 1995 -- and would have more if his/her significant other hadn't thrown the older ones away during a fight. Type W has a couple different clothing items that are lucky, and wears only those clothes -- dirty or not -- to the ballpark. One of those items is usually a ballcap. Type W either lives in the neighborhood or took the L to the ballpark. Type W is well known at Bernie's and secretly misses the old Wrigleyville Tap -- and hates the sellouts at Murphy's. Type W had to be revived after Grace caught that soft liner to end the one-game playoff against the Giants in 1998. Type W gets in a lot of arguments with strangers over whether or not the Cubs should've traded Sammy.

Type W would sell Wrigley Field packed full of sweet little old grandmothers to the glue factory to see the Cubs win the World Series just once. To Type W, baseball is economics -- and if the park has to go in order to win, the park goes.

Type L isn't really aware of the existence of Type W, except for the times when he/she has to sit next to that baseball geek with the clipboard charting pitches. Gawd, what a geek!

Type W hates Type L with a hatred usually reserved for Nazis and IRS auditors. God, please strike this ignorant yuppie next to me dead....


Would the Type L fan insist on Old Style in the wax cup?

EXcub factors in the ALCS: Jon Lieber

The Cubs have had ONE 20 Game winner since Greg Maddux did it in 1992. It ain't Kerry Wood, it ain't Mark Prior, it ain't even the great Jose Guzman...It's JON LIEBER!

Lieber was brilliant in Game 2 of the ALCS.

It was the second good outing Liebs has had in the 2004 playoffs. The Cubs stole Jon Lieber from the Pirates for Brant Brown. This was probably the best move Ed Lynch made as GM of the Cubs. Lieber pitched very good for the Cubs for 3-1/2 seasons. 2001 was his "career year" That year Lieber went 20-6 in 34 starts, he had a 3.80 ERA in 232.1 IP, 226 H, 104 R, 98 ER, 25 HR, 41 BB, 148 SO.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Insane EXcub factors in the NLCS: Julian Tavarez

In 2001 the Cubs Starting Pitching was no where near what it is today. Julian Tavarez actually started 28 Games for the Cubs in '01. Along the way we all concluded that Julian was crazy. On the last day of the 2001 season Tavarez tosses 7-1/3rd innings of no-hit ball versus the Pirates. That day he struck out a career high 9. The Cubs dealt Tavarez along with minor leaguers Jose Cueto, Dontrelle Willis and Ryan Jorgenson to the Marlins for Matty Clement and Antonio Alfonseca.

Tavarez has had a really good year in the Redbird pen. He was 7-4 with a 2.38 ERA in 77 Games. The rest of his stats: 4 SV, 64.1 IP, 57 H, 21 R, 17 ER, 1 HR, 19 BB, 48 SO. This was Tavarez' best season since 1995 when he was with the Tribe.

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

NEWS FLASH: Cub Trainers Canned. "Trying to Cleanup the Mess That Was your 2004 Cubs"

You want scapegoats? We've got two more!

For the second time in two seasons the Cubs have fired their trainer. Today Head Athletic Trainer Dave Groeschner(Top) and Assistant Trainer Sandy Krum (bottom) were both dismissed. GM Jim Hendry ain't happy with the Cubs season. This week Wavin' Wendell was let go, now the two trainers.

Cub players had better expect some shoes to fall once the World Series is over.

EXcub factors in the ALCS: The Horn

Mark Bellhorn was struggling at the start of 2003. So Chip Caray gave him a nickname "The Horn". I'm still waiting for Joe Buck to use this nickname on FOX or for that matter for Jerry Remy to use it on NESN.

The Horn still strikesout way too much. But he takes some walks.

The Horn attended Auburn University. He was an All-American in 1995.

This year Bellhorn was decent. As a switch hitter he hit .298 LH and .246 RH. He really enjoyed Friendly Fenway hitting .283 in front of the monster, only .244 on the road. Here are the rest of Bellhorn's numbers in 2004: 138 G, 523 AB, 93 R, 138 H, 37 2B, 3 3B, 17 HR, 82 RBi, 88 BB, 177 SO, 6 SB, .373 OBP, .444 SLG, .264 AVG.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

EXcub factors in the ALCS: Kenny Lofton

Kenny Lofton has been one of MLB's best leadoff men over the past decade. Is it a coincidence that when the Cubs acquired him in the second half of 2003 they started winning? Lofton wasn't on the Cubs long. But he was on the team long enough to bring an attitude to the '03 Cubs. He was also on the team long enough to have a dust up with Sammy following the NLCS. The fight with Sammy along with Jim Hendry's "C-Pat love" sent Lofton packing after '03. Now he's just another former All Star on the Yankees bench.

Word around NY is that GM Cashman will probably move Lofton at the end of the year. As the Cubs found out this year, good leadoff men are hard to find. A team will probably take a chance on Lofton, and see if he has one more good season in the tank.

Lofton has put up some very impressive career numbers:
1728 G, .297 BA, .372 OBP, 1296 R, 2019 H, 545 SB, and check out this strikeout to walk ratio -- 882 SO, 812 BB

Lofton has always played on winning teams.

Monday, October 11, 2004

NEWS FLASH: Wendell Waived. "Trying to Cleanup the Mess That Was your 2004 Cubs"

The Cubs began cleaning out the old house today. In what promises to be a very active off season. The first casualty, or second if we count Chip, was Cub 3B coach Wendell Kim. This probably means Dusty's old pal Sonny Jackson will man the thirdbase coaching box next year.

EXcub factors in pursuit of the RING: Jose Vizcaino

Jose Vizcaino was a Cub from '91-'93. He has spent the last 4 years with the Astros. Vizcaino is a great player to have on your bench. He can fill in at any infield position and in 1999 he actually pitched and played a game in the OF.

The Cubs dealt Jose to the Mets after the '93 season. The Cubs acquired the great Anthony Young and a minor leaguer Ottis Smith. Young is now changing oil at Jiffy Lube while Vizcaino plays an important role in the Astros Pennant chase. The brilliant GM who made the deal: Larry Himes.

Vizcaino's career numbers:
1642 G, 5050 AB, 599 R, 1374 H, 188 2B, 45 3B, 33 HR (A couple of big ones against the Cubs through the years) 449 Rbi, 72 SB, .319 OBP, .272 Avg

Sunday, October 10, 2004

EXcub factors in pursuit of the RING: Antonio Alfonseca

Ohhh Boy. Last year most Cub fans would have driven Alfonseca to Atlanta to get him out of town. Besides Todd Hundley, there is not a Cub that has been more hated by the Wrigley faithful in recent years. One of the only memories of Alf, as a Cub, was when he "bumped" into the Ump arguing Mo Alou's line shot down the LF line that was called foul vs. the Redbirds.

Leo Mazzone has long been hyped as the best Pitching Coach in the Majors. These numbers just serve as proof:
79 G, 6-4, 2.57 ERA, 73.2 IP, 71 H, 24 R, 21 ER, 28 BB, 45 SO.

If the Cubs would have found those numbers out of a RH relief pitcher they'd probably be playing this weekend.

Saturday, October 09, 2004

EXcub factors in pursuit of the RING: Jim Tracy (not for long)

Today's EXcub of the day is the Manager of the Dodgers Jim Tracy. Jim is of course is the answer to the trivia question "Who was the last Cub to wear #23 before Ryne Sandberg?"

Jim's numbers in Cubbie Blue were...well typical Cub:
1980 & 1981
87 G, 185 AB, 18 R, 46 H, 5 2B, 4 3B, 3 HR, 14 RBi, 3 SB, 25 BB, 51 SO, .249 AVG, .336 OBP, .368 SLG

Here's Jim back in the day:

Thanks for playing this year Jim. We'll see you next year (maybe).

Friday, October 08, 2004

EXcub factors in pursuit of the RING: Augie Ojeda

Today's Ex Cub enjoying the playoffs is our old Pal Augie Ojeda. Augie just sits over on the bench most of the time these days with the Twins. While in the dugout he often thinks back to the days when the Wrigleyville faithful would chant his name: "Augie, Augie, AUGIE, AUGIE, AUGIE..."

Here's Augie's numbers for '04:
30 G, 59 AB, 16 R, 20 H, 1 2B, 2 HR (I am not joking), 7 RBi, 10 BB, 3 SO, 1 SB, .339 AVG, .429 OBP, .458 SLG

Good Luck Augie and go Twins!

Thursday, October 07, 2004


Welcome to 1060West! This Blog has been created so we can keep the 1060 West episodes and discuss the constant entertainment that comes from Clark and Addison. Hopefully Krier will update the "Tawd Watch" when he sees fit. We are still in negotiations with Farnsworth on "Farnsie's Wrigleyville Bar Reviews". Hopefully you will see them soon.

2005 Unofficial, not in ANYWAY affiliated with the Tribsters Cub Convention

Alright, I'll save my venom for the Cub Convention this Winter.

I am planning a non-official Cub Convention for the same weekend. It'll be held in the Party Room downstairs at Lottie's. Scheduled to attend:
  • Augie Ojeda
  • Cindy Sandberg
  • "Big Partner" Tommy Williams
  • Zeke
  • Ed Lynch

Schedule of Events
8:00 AM Bloody Mary Bar and Open Forum to bitch about the Cubs.
10:30 Ron Santo and Pat Hughes Imitation Contest. Winners will receive fabulous Prizes!
12:00 FREE BEER Lunch. Sponsored by Natural Light.
1:30 Q & A w/ Cindy Sandberg -- Find out the truth behind the rumors. Raffy Palmeiro? Tuffy Rhodes? You decide...
3:00 Cub Memorabilia, is it really worth anything? Hosted by Zeke from Zeke's collectables on Irving.
4:00 Augie Ojeda and Ed Lynch will sign memorabilia!!!
5:30 Cocktails with Ed Lynch & Augie Ojeda.
6:00 Dinner, from Lottie's great lineup of Chicago bar-room favorites.
7:00 -- ?:?? Drink the night away and cry as we all realize the Cubs will never get as close as they did in 2003. Why did Dusty leave Prior in? Why did Gonzo boot the ball? Did the kid wearing the ear phones hear Steve Stone and Pat Hughes call him an idiot? Why did Dave Veres come out of the pen in Game 7? So many questions so little time.

It promises to be a Great Time at the 2005 Unofficial, not in anyway affiliated with the Tribsters, Cub Convention. We hope to see you there. You can get your tickets online at: or you can call 1-800-THANKYOU

Have a Great Winter and Enjoy the Baseball Playoffs if you can...