SEVENTH AND EIGHTH

1:53 PM: Here we go. Mike Fontenot. I'm wondering if he's related to the former Cub pitcher from the 80's. These are things that probably Ron Santo is talking about, and Pat Hughes is describing the ole dirty stains on the lower left lef of Chris Carpenter's burning red Cardinal home decor.
1: 55 PM: Fontenot flies out, and the inning is over. This makes life ultra fun for all of us. The Cubs have to score in the eighth or it's over. Good times.
BOTTOM OF SEVENTH:
1:59 PM: 1 out. 2 out. Just realizing that Mike Fontenot was the first guy off our bench to hit. Our #1 guy off the bench. That's scary.
2:01 PM: Two outs, two strikes on Carpenter. I'm going to take a nap. I hate having a desk that faces the main passage. GRRRRRRRRRR.
2:03 PM: Any thoughts on the Bulls/Wizards series? I do. Everyone is taking Washington. Have you seen this. It's like everyone in the NBA is on crack. I say it's a toss up.
2:06 PM: We're out.
TOP OF EIGHTH INNING:
2:08 PM: Okay, maybe we DONT wan't Hairston to play. We need a miracle. The chances of the Cubs winning this game is 3.2%.
2:08:03 PM: Inning over. Wow. That was quick. I am now going to hang myself in a meat locker Goodfellas style.
BOTTOM OF EIGHTH INNING:
2:10 PM: Word on the street is that David Eckstein isn't Jewish.
2:11 PM: Eckstein grounds out, and Billy Bob comes in the game.
2:17 PM: I'm on hold with a medical office and, "Here comes my girl" is being played in elevator tones.
2: 18 PM: Larry Walker homers. That's awesome. I totally forgot. Remlinger's AWESOME against Lefty's. Baker's a moron. Where's StarFox?
2:20 PM: Now the kids will remember Larry Walker. How special.
2:22 PM: HEY! StarFox IS in the game...and promptly gives up a double to Poo.
2:23 PM: Homer! Scott Rolen WILL be remembered by the little kids. Great performance StarFox.
2:32 PM: Two on two out, top of 9. Hopefully things will end soon. I need to work.
2:34 PM: Cubs don't have anyone in the 9 hole with power except Du Bois. If he's alive. Somebody wake him up. Barrett realizes a walk is what we're looking for.
2:36 PM: The game has ended. All must go home.
In the end it wasn't one of the greatest performances of all time. The Cubs look thin on offense. No Sammy and No Alou make this team pretty thin.

Welp, hope y'all had a fine time!
Cards 4, Cubs 0
CARPENTER IS JESUS IS A CARPENTER